Years that Answer

Zora Neale Hurston wrote:

"There are years that ask questions & years that answer."

I started 2014 in bed, exhausted & praying that fireworks wouldn't wake up my 3 month old who has made fighting sleep a rather impressive hobby.
In the small amount of time I have to reflect back, the Hurston quote comes to mind. My teenage years were definitely years full of questions (though I naturally thought I already had everything figured out) & then, as cliche as it sounds, the answers came in the years after I met my husband. I have struggled recently with the fact that life no longer has the slow & steady speed it has had for the past 8 years & those years of answers have given way once again to years of questions - this time, without the false bravado that accompanied my teens.

The new year also reminds me that I am fast approaching 10 years (!) since high school graduation.
10 years ago, I still defined myself by the music I listened to, the movies I quoted, the books I highlighted & dog eared.
10 summers ago, I was busy drinking too much coffee over late night conversations at Waffle House, going to a Jet concert with the guy I had no idea would become my husband, & daydreaming about a career in music journalism. There were so many infinite moments back then - the kind that you know are infinite as they are happening & you want to photograph them all (which is exactly what I did). The days passed languidly, like slow moving traffic & there was never a sense of urgency. I could sit in a traffic jam & enjoy the radio because {it felt like} time was on my side.

Fast forward 10 years later & tires on asphalt sounds to me like "rush/rush/hurry up". Sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees; I am too caught up in the daily routines of work, home and motherhood. I remind myself today that those years of questions were some of the best years of my life. I didn't know what to expect & that was half the fun.
I was rewarded with years of answers that had incredible adventures - being a newlywed; the almost spur of the moment decision to spend five weeks in Hawai'i fixing up a house while still having the time & energy to hike a volcano & a valley, enjoy coffee & wine tasting, & dig our toes into a black sand beach. Most recently we began the epic adventure of having a baby. I'll let you know how that turns out in about 18 years.

I have decided that this year, as hard as it will be with this hectic new schedule, I will slow down & find the time to enjoy the little moments with my family rather than focusing so much on the daily routine. {Easier said than done when life still revolves around feedings every 2-3 hours, how many ounces of milk I pump while I'm at work & how many hours of sleep I'll get if I just go to bed right.this.second.}

In 2014, I will celebrate all the new questions that arise, embrace new infinite moments and know that the years that answer will come far too soon.

Happy New Year. I hope you embrace your questions or answers. Here's to 2014.